First of all, you guys are great. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to know you're out there pulling for me, especially now as I open the window of time in which my prior losses have occurred. I swear this blog and all your comments are some of the main things keeping me semi-sane.
So, today's checkup was basically good. The embryo has grown an amazing 11 days worth in seven days and is therefore now measuring one day ahead: 8 weeks, 2 days today. The heartbeat is a little on the high side, but still within range: 178 beats/min. Meanwhile, there was evidence of a new (but now inactive) uterine bleed, which could be the source of the panic-inducing spotting I had late last week.
In most cases, a heartbeat at 8 weeks is a very good sign. But what you really need to know, to understand the extent of my hope, anxiety, and dread, is that with my last 2 losses I had a heartbeat at 8 weeks. And in fact, by eerie coincidence, in my most most recent loss, the last time I saw the heartbeat was at--you guessed it-- exactly 8 weeks and 2 days (at which point the embryo was also one day ahead). By 9 weeks 1 day, it was gone. Soo, I really don't know just how I'm going to get through the next week.
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14 comments:
By breathing in. Out. In. Out. I know it's excruciating, going through the point of earlier losses and wondering dreading hoping fearing praying obsessing, but remember: NBHHY. On the contrary! And that's something to hang on to.
I'm so hoping, Anne. I can't even tell you how much. And I'm blowing some industrial-strength fast-forward dust your way.
That's wonderful news! I understand that it's still a difficult time, the next week especially, but take it one day at a time. One moment at a time if you need to, but know that we're pulling for you and little Bigelow
Oh, Anne, I'm so happy that you got good news today! I also understand why you are feeling anxious, considering all the heartbreak you have been through in the past at this stage. But today you're pregnant and saw a lovely little heartbeat, so I hope that you are feeling some joy about that despite the inevitable worries. You deserve some joy, and NBHHY. I'm feeling hopeful for you.
If you ever would like to talk on the phone with someone else who has been through the recurrent miscarriage wringer, please feel free to e-mail me at ilcorky2@aol.com and we could exchange numbers. I know how nerve-wracking getting through the upcoming days can be, and I would be happy to listen if that would be helpful to you. (If not, that's fine, too; I'll still be here reading your blog and rooting for you.)
Oh, Anne, I know. I wish there were a way to beam you into the second trimester, popping belly and all. It is great, though, that things are looking good thus far. Of course, we wouldn't want it to be any other way. 11 days worth in 7 days? Do I dare say that sounds like thriving? I'll whisper it, though, to avoid jinxing anything. And of course, I've got my fingers crossed. Hard not to fall back on the old superstitions when you really really want something. And I really really hope this happens for you this time.
My thoughts are with you.
Hurrah! Dag, that's great! Wishing you and el milagro a fast and healthy week.
Any way you can. Best thoughts to get you through.
I was going to post almost the same thing Kath did: from one of my favorite movies, "Sleepless in Seattle" -- "I'm going to get up in the morning, and breathe in and out, all day. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out..."
I'm one of Karen's regular lurkers, BTW, and it heartened me to see that she made it past all of her earlier loss milestones. We RPL'ers can do nothing but cheer each other on when we make it, pick each other up when we fall, and pray as hard as we can that none of us have to go through that again. I am praying fervently on your behalf, Anne.
Thank you all for your hopes and your prayers, your slow breaths and your cheesy movies. And thanks especially for to Jill for the reminder, "you're pregnant today." I can't take current conditions as an indicator of future sucess. It just doesn't work that way, at least not for me. But, by the same token, the past doesn't govern the present. So I guess I really just have to figure out how to be pregnant right m=now. Thanks for making me feel more grounded.
Just to let you know I am rooting for you. Hang in there, one day at a time.
Oh I have everything crossed for you. This time doesn't have to be like last time - otherwise there would be no point in any of us trying. Take it one 15 minute slot at a time (that's how I'm coping!)
Hey whadda you know? Two whole days have gone by! This week will be over before you know it!
I'm so glad the news was good! After your previous experiences, I can only imagine how hard it must be to believe that the good news will lead to even more good news. I am pulling for you!!
Sorry about the cheesy movie reference. I guess I'm a cornball at heart. ;-)
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