Monday, April 04, 2005

Fertility Savings Time

So, daylight savings time began yesterday. I’ve never quite understood the whole strange system of moving the clocks backwards and forwards. Every spring I lose an hour. Where does it go? Does it take a relaxing vacation somewhere? Is it just too much stress for that hour to have to work every day of the year? Sure they give it back to you in the fall, but what do you get in exchange? You get an extra hour of darkness, that’s what. I know, I know that’s not how it’s supposed to work. But unless you’re the proud owner of the cutest little pig farm in Iowa, you’re probably not up by dawn most days. No, it feels like a loss coming and going to me.

I feel just about the same way when it comes to the biological clock. They start off stressing family planning. Planned parenthood. You must not have a child till the time is right. Finish school, get married, achieve emotional stability, financial solvency, and oh spiritual enlightenment wouldn’t be a bad tool to have in the kit. Almost gives you the impression you can time the creation of your family. But don’t you wait too long, oh no. That biological clock, it’s more reliable than the atomic clock. Those ovaries, they are set to Greenwich Mean Time and they mean business. Tick tock, tick, tock. Don’t forget to wind your watch girls. So, just when exactly is that perfect moment between too soon and too late? It seems as elusive as this hour I seem to have just misplaced…

Could it be that the biological clock somehow gets set on fertility savings time? Is Perfect Timing off on the beach somewhere, lying beside Extra Hour of Daylight, perfecting a tan? If that's the case, I'd like to see that hour get back on the job. I've waited long enough and I'd like to put my biological clock back to standard fertility time.

I just need to find the right calendar, you know the one that comes marked with moon phases tied to ovulation and marks the day when standard fertility time resumes? Because it feels like I’ve somehow lost years of my life to these multiple miscarriage losses. And I want that time back.