Well, I went for another sonogram today and the news is still not bad. The embryo is still behind by dates, but it has grown a week in a week. Meanwhile, the spotting has stopped. So, as Getup Grrl used to say, NBHHY: Nothing Bad Has Happened Yet.
This is actually where I expected to be six months ago, the reason I started this blog. I never expected the months of frustration trying to conceive much less the insane roller-coaster start of this pregnancy. All of my prior pregnancies have started smoothly with textbook numbers; all of my losses have been between 8 and 12 weeks. So I wanted this blog to get me through the waiting period, from the first sight of the heartbeat through (hopefully through) the end of the first trimester.
I'm just 7 weeks 1 day today. So, you see, we're really just getting started here.
And another thing: I wrote my "in love" piece tongue firmly in cheek, though most of you seem to have taken it straight. In fact, I AM trying to bond with this baby, something I have never tried to do before. It seems so hokey. The thing is that much as I deeply want a child I have mostly hated being pregnant. But I am trying to "appreciate" it this time. Because, one way or another, I'm not going to be playing this game too much longer. As I may have mentioned, my "wall" grows ever higher; cradling a living child is becoming much more important to me than carrying one.
That said, I am trying to enter whole-heartedly into this unlikely pregnancy, even though getting my hopes up only gives me further to fall. I hope you'll all stick with me now. Because this is the really hard part. Thanks.
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10 comments:
Yay for no news?
my prayers are with you hon.
NBHHY!
I'm here wishing you all the best. I know how hard it is to risk your heart again.
I hear you, Anne. And I'm here.
Still here with you, and checking in frequently. Wishing you luck and peace of mind. Waiting is so hard, but that little bean seems just stubborn enough to carry on! Good news, lots of hope. :)
Oh yes, I'll be here for sure, wishing for the best possible result. With all that you've been through, it's yet not time to let go of your hand. Thank goodness NBHHY (well, except for a scare), and here's hoping that only good things happen from here on. Grow, emby, Grow!
Just keep chanting the mantra: NBHHY. I'll be here with you, Anne, rooting you on. Hang in there.
Sending some positive vibes to you and the little gigalo!
I hope these next several weeks fly by with only good things at the end.
With you and hoping with all my heart that this one sticks with you. If these early weeks are any indication, you have one tenacious little legume in there.
--Bugs
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