Well, the beta is back. Although it is higher than last week, it is so very low that this is without question a bio-chemical pregnancy, nothing more. The doc is not even worried about an ectopic with numbers this low. Soo, now I just have to wait for my body to catch on and start cramping again. I am thinking about having a bio-chemical hazard symbol tattooed across my abdomen. There's something kind of snazzy about those trefoil circles, doncha' think? It could be a good look with a croptop and the right pair of low-rise jeans (as soon as I loose the pudgy bloat from my "well vascularized" uterus, of course). I also might order a few hazmat placards to post on the apartment door in lieu of Halloween decorations. They sell a nice selection at: http://www.unzco.com/storefront/placards/hazmat.html#6
P.S. You will note that I have already updated my banner to say 4 miscarriages instead of 3. A bit premature, I know, since I have not yet actualy undergone the miscarriage. And, of course, there are those who would disagree about whether or not this quick one even "counts." But hell, I'm counting it. The bed post has been notched this last week. And there ain't no way to glue those wood shavings back on.
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19 comments:
Of course it counts. It's good that this is not an ectopic, but it's certainly not a happy ending, either. I'm sorry that you've had your hopes dashed yet again.
I'm so sorry, Anne. Of course it counts, and it's utterly painful.
Know that I'm feeling your sadness and bewilderment. Wishing you strength for the coming days and weeks.
Hi, Anne. I am very thankful that you don't have an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic would add a whole new wrinkle to the miscarriage nightmare that you certainly don't need right now, so--whew!--I'm glad that it's no longer a concern.
I definitely think a chemical pregnancy counts. It's a pregnancy and it's a loss, physically and emotionally, regardless of the fact that it happens early and that the embryo doesn't develop much. You waited for this pregnancy for a long time; I know how much you wanted that embryo to grow into your child. You have a right to grieve its loss if that's what you need to do. The one silver lining of a chemical pregnancy, at least in my experience, it that the miscarriage should be relatively easy physically, but that doesn't necessarily correlate to being easy emotionally, not at all.
I'm so sorry that you are going through another miscarriage. Ugh. You're going through a crisis, so you just fluff your pillows and watch mindless TV or do whatever else you need to do to take care of yourself right now.
Anne, so sorry to hear this....don't let anyone tell you or even suggest that this doesn't "count." How ridiculous, but I do know there are those out there....hang in there.
I so sorry you have to go through this.
I think it counts, especially after having been through this more than once. It sucks no matter what they choose to call it.
I'm very sorry this is happening.
I'm really sorry.
Of course it counts. Like Jill said, it's a pregnancy and it's a loss.
I am thinking of you. And I'm so sorry you're going through this.
(((Anne)))
So sorry to hear about #4...
A miscarriage is a dashing of hopes no matter when it happens. Take care of your self and grieve, or not, as you need to.
PS I'm glad you liked the song anyway.
It absolutely counts. And I'm so very, very sorry.
Anne, I'm so sorry.
It counts. I'm really sorry that this is happening again for you. I never know what to say when I am posting but you are in my thoughts.
It's updated to 4 miscarriages but the "gearing up to try again" stayed the same. Wishing you all the strength and support you'll need to make another try (or decide not to). I'm so sorry this time didn't work out.
Not that it's about me at all but I wanted to let you know that you had a part in us deciding to try again. I've had 3 m/c, have a protein S deficiency and am 38. Yikes, I think we have a tall mountain to scale but I don't feel so all alone anymore.
As my R.E.'s nurse told me yesterday, "honey it counts. They all count as broken dreams."
I am so incredibly sorry. My heart is with you right now.
Anne, I'm so sorry you are going through this again. And of course this counts as going through it again. I hope it is over with as quickly as it can be, it must be miserable waiting for it to happen.
I am so sorry.
Just checking back in to let you know that I'm thinking of you.
Thank you all so much. I can't tell you how much you comments boosted my spirits last night. In a brief conversation with my mother (in which she thought she was being sympathetic) she said, "well if this had been an actual pregnancy, it would be so much worse to go through." There is just no substitute for the BTDT support you guys bring.
And Sonya, 1- yes I do plan to keep trying, 2- hearing that I've helped you to keep on keeping on was the nicest gift anyone could have given me yesterday.
Do you think only great people are cursed with IF, or do you think going through IF makes you a better person? Either way, I feel so lucky to "know" all of you.
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