Wednesday, May 13, 2009

FISHing for Trouble?

I seem to live life on the statistical edge. One half of one percent is the percentage of women who have recurrent miscarriage for which no explanation can be found. It's also the risk that the baby I'm currently carrying has Down's Syndrome. My nuchal results were great, but the news has gotten progressively worse. My odds are now 1/190, worse than my age-related risk of 1/287. The odds of miscarriage due to having an amnio are 1/400. What's a five-time miscarrier to do?

I feel absolutely whipsawed by this latest twist of events. What are the chances that fate could be so cruel as to let me hold a pregnancy with a chromosomally abnormal fetus after I've lost FIVE chromosomally normal ones? You might think the odds are slim. But given the improbable bad luck I've already experienced, I find little comfort there.

I'm currently scheduled for an amnio on Friday, but I'm scared and ambivalent. I just don't know how much more I can take...Suffice it to say that this is doing nothing for my efforts to get back into a work writing routine. Somebody stop the bus. I want to get off.

6 comments:

Sonya said...

I'm so sorry you're caught in this stressful place. I wanted to let you know that I had amnios with both of my successful pregnancies (and as you know I've also had 5 miscarriages, at least two of which were chromosomally normal). The first amino was done on very short notice after growth concerns at 19 weeks. The lead up to the procedure was very scary but the procedure itself was not bad at all. I felt very little pain and didn't have any complications. Because we were concerned about things other than downs syndrome I didn't have the FISH results and had to wait 10 days. That was tough but it was so reassuring to have the results.

By my second child I was much more comfortable with the idea of an amnio and made my own choice to have one. I was 40 years old and also wanted to have the reassurance early in case this baby was also on the small side... Again the procedure went very well.

I know it's a hard choice to make and a hard spot to be in. I can understand that you might decide that you don't want to get the amnio. Just wanted to chime in as a fellow recurrent m/c'er.

I'm pulling for you! Go #7!!

Cassandra said...

1/190 are still very small odds.

Good luck on Friday, with the procedure and the results. I hope that this is a false alarm and that your improbable bad luck finally turns to good.

Anne said...

Sonya-

Thanks so much for stopping by. I really appreciate having your perspective and it's a comfort just to touch base with you.

Sonya said...

Sure, you're welcome! Please feel free to email me if you want to know anything else or just to vent :) I'm smd (at) ecologyfund (dot) net

Kath said...

Dear Anne, I just read this and wanted to send you all my good thoughts for your procedure today. I hope it goes as smoothly and swimmingly and with as little pain as both of mine did, and brings you similarly reassuring results.

I so sympathize with everything you've said here -- but know that your odds of having a healthy baby are still very, very good, my dear. Thinking of you.

And please forgive me for being away so long!

Thalia said...

thinking of you today, I hope all goes ok.