I'm OK. More OK than I would have thought. Much more OK than I was after last summer's loss[es]. Turtle sang "Happy Birthday" to me on my birthday, and it was truly the most wonderful sound on earth.
I am humbled to realize how much of my emotional response is hormonally mediated. I had an easy pregnancy and an easy miscarriage and I simply don't feel tragic. I feel kind of bemused.
I don't know where we go from here. Dr. Cookie Pie prescribes: "soul searching." We are trying to do cytology on the bit of tissue I manged to collect and we are planning to do day 3 blood work next month (which could be difficult over the holidays...).
I am not sure how far I am willing to go in the pursuit of a second child...the ethical questions swirling around all non-standard options are so complex, the risks, financial, emotional, physical are so great. I think I need a break from thinking about all this... Today's NYT's magazine cover story and all the attendant comments were thought provoking to the point of being headache inducing!
4 comments:
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that you find a happy medium on your perhaps high tech journey to fulfilling your desire to parent #2.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find success on your quest for #2 soon.
Belated Birthday wishes for you too.
I read that article too. Definately thought provoking. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, especially this time of year.
I'm sorry for your loss :(
I also ask myself how far I am willing to go in the pursuit of a second child. I don't have any answers.
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