From time to time there are discussions in the IF blogosphere about literature that treats themes of infertility. I just came across a book that deals with the subject beautifully: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (Riverhead Books, 2003). The book, about a young man from Afghanistan, has little to do with infertility overall. But, midway through the book, infertility unexpectedly enters the life of a character-- as unexpectedly as it has entered many of our lives. Hosseini writes about it with such knowing detail (both medically and emotionally) that I think he must have some direct personal experience with it. I want to share one especially moving passage (but I'm blacking out the characters' names so as not to spoil the plot for anyone who wants to read the book):
"Sometimes, [with her] sleeping next to [him], [he] lay in bed and listened to the screen door swinging open and shut with the breeze, to the crickets chirping in the yard. And [he] could almost feel the emptines in [her] womb, like it was a living breathing thing. It had seeped into [their] marriage, that emptiness, into [their] laughs, and [their] lovemaking. And late at night, in the darkness of [their] room, [he'd] feel it rising from [her] and settling between [them]. Sleeping between [them]. Like a newborn child."
Tears filled my eyes as I read that passage and again as I transcribed it now. It captures a lot for me. Please, if you come by and read this, won't you leave me a comment and tell me about something, anything, a poem, a novel, an essay on infertility that has affected you too?
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7 comments:
Hi,
I usually read to escape infertility thoughts so I haven't spent much time reading books with this as a theme. I did come across this Flash presentation on the ivfconnections board that I thought was very touching. I considered sending it to family to help them understand:
http://www.vocalicious.com/empty_arms/empty_arms_mod.html
Argh! Sorry, here is the link again:
Link
I don't go looking for books on infertility, but Marian Keyes' "Angels" hit the spot for me on the topic of multiple miscarriages. The other Keyes books I've read are light fare -- fun relaxing beach books. This book is still "fun," but later in the book, you learn that the main character has had two miscarriages and this fact is driving her decisions. A brief quote, "The sense of deja vu as we drove to the hospital turned reality into a nightmare. Then we were sitting on the orange chairs again, then someone was tellingme that everything would be okay, and once again it wasn't."
Many thanks for these comments. I know it's sappy, but I literally sat through the Empty Arms slideshow with tears rolling down my cheeks.
Anne,
I read Peggy Orenstein's NYT Magazine essay "Mourning My Miscarriage" the week after my D&C, and it resonated with me more than anything else I'd read before or since. One thing that I esp. liked about it was that it gave me a way of thinking about *what* we had lost---which was really nebulous for me---in a way that made sense to me. In fact, my husband and I now use the term "Waterchild" to talk about our Lost One.
You can link to her essay here: http://www.farfilm.com/peggy/articles/mourningmymiscarriage.htm
I was very moved by one character's stuggle to conceive in The Red Tent. I read it years ago so the details are foggy but I do remember her having to sit by and watch the other women get pregnant. It has a happy ending for her :)
Helen-
Thank you so very much for that link. Get-Up Grrl wrote a post about mizuko last summer that meant a lot to me, then took down the post. I really wished I could read it again. I websearched without finding anything on mizuko (which I was obviously misspelling). So I really appreciate having this. Best to you.
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