We’re on a bit of a dictionary kick over here at Let’s Generate. If we can’t procreate, damned if we can’t create some new vocabulary. Herewith, some new words for your edification:
Primary Infertility: When your primary waking thoughts, your main nocturnal dreams circle infinitely, futilely around the apparently impossible dream of having a child.
Secondary Infertility: When, following one successful conception and gestation, all you want is a second, or some other “higher order multiple,” child, and yet your desires are treated as insubstantial, inconsequential by friends, family, physicians, and fate alike.
Tertiary Anfertility: When your name is Anne and, following a series of fast conceptions and even quicker miscarriages, you suddenly find you are no longer even able to conceive.
Seriously folks. I conceived my first baby in 1 try, lost it at 8 weeks, the second in 2 tries, lost it at 12 weeks, the third in 1 try, lost it at 9 weeks. My problem heretofore has been staying, not getting pregnant. So four months of failure in a row now has me ready to lose my mind. I realize this is relatively little time in the annals of infertility. But you have to realize that what I’ve been steeling myself against is the heartbreak of my next miscarriage. The heartbreak of not even being able to conceive introduces a whole new brand of torment.
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9 comments:
It just sucks, there's no getting around it. I went over a year of trying between the first and second miscarriage; one month until third; five months until fourth; and then another two months until the current pregnancy. I've been tested with everything they can come up with and no explanation for any of it. Good thoughts are being sent your way.
I also conceived on the first try, and again a few months after the first miscarriage. Then I went three years before the next one. I feel your pain.
Hang in there, sweetie.
Being unable to conceive at all--boy, do I know that one well. And it's miserable, just plain miserable, in its own right. So sorry you're going through this, and hoping your luck turns around soon.
--Bugs
Anne, I'm so sorry for this disappointment. No words can make it any better, can they?
Sorry to hear of your frustration, and also your grief over losing the babies.. I hope you find your joy soon..
I'm so sorry for all of your losses. I can't even imagine what you have been through.
IF just sucks. It is so unfair. Women can't get pregnant or keep their pregnancies. It is so complex
Hi, Anne. I have miscarried four pregnancies that took me anywhere from one month to six months to conceive, and I understand how you're feeling. It's stressful and it sucks. After about three months of trying to conceive, I freak out and start worrying that I can't get pregnant anymore even though I know that it's normal for it to take a while to get pregnant, especially at my age (37). For us, getting pregnant is just the first (and usually the easiest) hurdle, and it is crazy-making when the months start dragging out with no positive peestick. Hope you see a pair of dark lines soon!
i just found your blog so i don't have all the details yet- but i wish you all the luck and the love in the world (plus a bit more).
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